Gobsmacked!

Going back to work at a full time job while keeping the part-time job and other fun and interesting life activities (!) has had me going for the past couple of weeks but I'm beginning to find my sea legs again and get my bearings about me. For the record, I LOVE my new job working with older folks at the nursing home. I'm on one of the rehab units and mostly work with folks who have had surgeries or other hospital stays and need to get some strength and mobility back so they can go home. I see them when they come in, assess their psycho/social needs, work with their families and then arrange for them to have all the goods and services they need in place when they go home. It's fast paced and fraught with all manner of surprises and other variables but I am really beginning to enjoy it now that I'm getting the hang of it just a little bit.

So I told you all of that to tell you this; I grew up in a neighborhood just across the river from a very wealthy and prominent old money neighborhood. I went to school with the kids from that neighborhood and am still good friends with a lot of them today. I have seen lots of the movers and shakers out in the community all of my life and I must admit for a lot of my life I admired them for their successes and their standing in society (I've pretty much grown out of that and am quite content with my life overall these days even though I'm not what you would call successful in a worldly sense). Today, I was walking down a hall and I saw a woman I recognized by face if not by name who had been one of the society ladies I had seen in the paper at balls and fund raisers and in Publix in her tennis skirt chatting with friends in the produce section. But here she was, small and anxious in a reclining rolling chair, unable to communicate and seemingly unable to understand and it hit me like a ton of bricks. All the things we chase after and argue about and hold dear to our hearts all of our lives and for what? In the end what have we got left that we can hold on to? Our status, our accomplishments, our acquisitions.... none of it matters much by that point. And it can all disappear in a heartbeat. All I can do is to pray that she and all the folks I get to interact with are able to become more and more grounded on the spiritual side even as they begin to lose their groundedness on the physical side. And I pray that the transition brings with it peace and joyful expectation. And my prayer for myself is that I will remember getting gobsmacked with that realization and continue to loosen my grip on those things that I'll just be leaving behind anyhow. You can't reach out to take hold of the new stuff if you won't let go of the old.

Glory Hallelujah - a job!

After a long, long, long, extended, very long period of semi-unemployment I am pleased to announce that I have been offered and accepted a position as a discharge planner at a local long term care/rehabilitation facility! Yayyyyy - a job! It is PRN (as needed) but I will be filling in full-time for someone going out on maternity leave for 3 months so at least I know I'll have a real, big-girl paycheck coming in for that long and who knows what will come after that. Good things, I'm sure.

It's also going to be great experience for me and I expect to come across tons of new information and resources to share here for older folks and caregivers who have to make long term care decisions. The Feedin' Mama blog will be more useful than ever as I expand my experience and knowledge base.

And did I mention the big-girl paycheck? Again.... yay! Praise God from Whom ALL blessings flow! And gobs of appreciation to my daughter-in-law Nicole for taking on Mama care during the week so I'll know she's being well looked after. Four generation households are the shizzle. (Martha Stewart translation: a good thing)

Local Girl Makes Good.... Go Grandma Lee!

75-year-old commedienne and Jacksonville resident, Grandma Lee has made it through to the finals on America's Got Talent this year and I just think that's awesome. This little powerhouse has done the impossible, she has all of the judges eating out of her hand, most especially the chronically grumpy Piers Morgan. And it's not just a case of "aw, look how cute she is" - they recoginize that she truly does have the talent going on - writes her own material, has excellent comic timing and you can tell she's just enjoying the heck out of the whole process. She says she was 62 when she decided to give stand-up comedy a try and 13 years later she's a star in the national spotlight. You go girl!

My favorite joke of hers is that when she dies she wants her ashes spread over the local Krispy Kreme so her fat daughters-in-law will visit her at least twice a week. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! The Seniors.... they do indeed rock!

Rich, chocolaty stress relief

I know I've said it before more than once but it's so important for caregivers to remember to take care of themselves and they usually need regular remiders that if they don't stay healthy in body, mind and spirit they're eventually going to need a caregiver themselves. Here's a link that is directed toward caregivers of folks with Alzheimer's but it's chock full of good advice for any and all caregivers. Follow the links for stress relief too, especially this one. They've got good stuff for everybody who has stress to address and that's pretty much all of us, yes? And then of course there's always chocolate...

How the Amish do it

I wrote recently about how we have become a 4-gen household in the Feedin' Mama house. Back in the days before Social Security and IRAs that was the way it was done, elders lived in the homes of their children or other family members. Personally, I feel that we have lost something important as a society once families were relieved of that responsibility. These days, multi-gen households are an anomoly. But I digress... here's a post about how the Amish folk build additions onto their homes for their elders along with links to other construction/arrangement possibilities. We here at FM house don't have the resources for construction projects at present, we've just rearranged and squoze in where we could but I think we all have seen the benefit of extended family living in spite of the few inconveniences so far. I guess my point is that with a little creativity, flexibility and a spirit of cooperation it can be done and I think it's worth it.

Respite Rocks!

One of the first things you hear in the pre-flight speil is if you are traveling with a small child or someone who is dependent on you that you need to remember to put the oxygen mask on yourself first if such is required because you can't help anyone else if you've passed out yourself. This is analogy often used when counseling caregivers... take care of yourself because if you get sick or drop dead then you aren't going to be of any use to anyone anymore. Sadly, it's one of the least heeded pieces of advice that they get. Granted, sometimes it's due to a martyr complex that the caregiver has adopted. Very often the caregiver isn't comfortable leaving anyone else to tend to their loved one, especially if they have particular needs that someone else may not be able to meet. But most often, a caregiver doesn't get a break or respite time simply because there isn't anyone available to take over for them or they don't know how to go about finding the help that they need.

I am so very blessed to have family and friends to back me up. I got away this weekend with my all-female work group from church the Tool Time Girls(TM). My sweet sister came over from Trenton, FL where she lives on five acres out in the middle of God knows where. She took over Mama-care duties at the nursing home for me. Our dear friend Steve (the bf of one of the group) offered us his lovely home on a canal in Palm Coast. He came up to Jax and stayed at her house because one rule of TTGs is no boys allowed. We had just the best time eating and sleeping and watching movies and we even got to watch the Jaguars game on a station out of Orlando. We didn't go to the beach because of the weather and the runouts but we did go see the estate of a Russian Princess out on Matanzas Bay. Even though we didn't do anything crazy this year like get tattooed or anything, it was just what we needed, me especially and a fabulous time was had by all. I did get a text Saturday morning from my sister telling me that Mama had gone back into congestive heart failure and had been moved back to the hospital but she wouldn't let me come back, she had it under control. She's such a peach. And Mama is doing much better today, she may be discharged tomorrow and we'll be bringing her home this time. I think she's had about as much rehab at the nursing home as she can tolerate and I felt like they weren't as concerned about the sodium levels in her food as I would have been. See... there's that "nobody can do it as well as I can" complex happening there just a little bit.

For folks who are not as blessed as I am to have such great support there are agencies that provide respite care. I know that the VA was very good about giving Mama respite when Daddy's care became a full-time job for her. Catholic Charities and Urban Jacksonville both have local respite programs as do several nursing homes and home care agencies. Help is out there for you and if you need my help finding it in your community just e-mail me Betsy@Feedinmama.com and I'll do what I can to point you in the right direction. But please do remember to take care of YOU. It's important.

Bad to the Bone

Now that's just funny. I don't care who you are...

thanks to my friend Sandra for this morning's chuckle!

Florida Biker Bar