It's Complicated

Well we have learned that even when you have advance directives in place and a medical surrogate to convey your wishes about invasive procedures, sometimes they happen anyhow. Mama has done all of that and yet, there we were in the ER having to make an immediate decision about putting her on a ventilator. She was rapidly losing her ability to breathe in the midst of a congestive heart failure episode and the nurse was pressing us for a decision. She promised us that it would be A)temporary and B) that she would be sedated the entire time. She lied about B). Well, she didn't lie, she was a wonderful, caring nurse but some hours after the vent had been started Mama's blood pressure tanked and they had to back off of the sedation to counteract that. They did give her morphine and ativan to help try to keep her comfortable but I ended up feeling betrayed and guilt-ridden nonetheless. She was on the vent for 4 days and a feeding tube for 2 (another thing we had discussed and Mama didn't want - more guilt). She's still in ICU with a lot of medical "issues" but we will deal with them. I thank God for wonderful, amazing Dr. G (not the medical examiner one) who runs interference for Mama as her primary care doc and keeps the specialists at bay who are programmed to want to "fix" things even when sometimes it's best that they're simply managed instead. Like I said, it's complicated.

An Attitude of Gratitude

I know almost all caregivers have heard this all before but this article is a really good one to remind us all of the importance of gratitude as part of your own mental well-being. It's way too easy to focus on the real or perceived ingratitude of others but you can only be responsible for your own thoughts and feelings. Don't quit trying until you find that one little thing you can be thankful for today and then focus on that. It's the first best way to be sure that you end up being not only a survivor but a winner.

A merry heart is good medicine but a crushed spirit dries up the bones! Proverbs 17:22

Verbiage

I have learned some useful new phrases while working at the Manor - "pleasantly confused" and "intermittently oriented". I believe that I will aspire to both of those conditions in the aging process. Being pleasantly confused sounds like great fun and checking in and out of reality might come in pretty handy on some occasions that I can think of. I plan on being one interesting old lady, I sure hope my kids are prepared.

Mmmmm.... pork roast

Haven't done many cooking-related posts lately so here you go...

I'm marinating a pork loin roast in some peach nectar and balsamic vinegar with ginger and pepper. Low sodium and should be mighty tasty. I'll let you know how it turns out after dinner tomorrow night.

Where are the presents?

I just realized that today is Feedin' Mama's two-year blogiversary. And they said it wouldn't last.

Wait, Watch and Wonder

This article I found in one of my e-mails today might be a bit overwrought and over-thought for some but I do like the idea that giving your all to the present moment is the great key to a life well-lived. We do spend so much time projecting the future and beleaguering the past that we miss the breath we are taking right now. Such a waste of life that is. And besides, I thought the title was most excellent.

Diet and Nutrition for Everybody

I just heard about a great new site, Drgourmet.com. It has diet and nutrition information for all kinds of health conditions and issues. Here's the link to the Low Sodium section. There is also a section for people on coumadin, for gout, for cholesterol... and their own nutrition plan for everyone who just wants to eat better. It's a veritable nutrition gold mine! Yay!